Worth the wait

I tried to reach out, there was no one around,

I was alone, there was not a pindrop sound.

I used to shiver in the dark, then you calmed me,

For the first time after long someone sees what I see.

Your one of a kind, for you there's no category,

But as always something falls short and can't be.

So what do we do, where do we go from here,

It's worth the effort, let's kill the dreaded fear.

No one knows what the future can hold,

Good or bad, its a mystery to unfold.

But why think of the future and past,

When today is a long day to last?

No breaks!!

Just when you think of taking breaks

Breathe! life will be raising the stakes

I am done with one task then comes ten

Conquer the eiffel, awaits you is the Big Ben

But why complain and fret

This is the only life you get

Fish never stop swimming till death

So back to work after catching a breath
(c) Rita Ghose

Cut it out

Your rooted inside me
You just won't let me be
So I take a knife to cut you right out
You scream in pain, you give a shout
I have no mercy left
You're charged with theft
You stole my trust in humanity
You tortured me now let me free

Virtual dating

Something so simple yet so advanced hit me in the face today...
Technology has taken over every aspect of our lives.. Yeh sure we get
technology to do almost anything even automatically flush our toilets,
but now it's entered our social scene. No, I am in no ways referring
to social networking sites. Just imagine dating yet your date isn't
even in the same country as you...
Well it happened on this very day... from South to South East Asia..
One coffee shop in a mall to another coffee shop in a city suburb..
Wireless internet connection and laptops to aid.. Two people
connected on a completely different level.
One evening after about a year of knowing each other as virtual
friends, they decided why not try a virtual date. They would be seeing
each other for the first time but on webcam. So the time was fixed and
the venues as well. There they were coffees in each other's hand and
time passed them by and they didn't even know it. The result a perfect
date. No complications as simple as ABC. Ill give it a try sometime...
:D

Move to Mumbai: Initial fears

It was January 1997, a misty start of my life and the first time I experienced the death of someone I was really attached to. Moreover, as the story of my life went it was time to shift countries, wherever dad's job would take us. But this time it meant coming home to my country, India. A little bit of apprehension of the change from NRI to pukka (term used to mean complete) Indian set in. I studied Hindi from the CBSE board, but couldn't speak a word fluently.. lol although i always scored well in Hindi (not boasting but around 90 per cent)...
There I was clueless, about how I would fit in.. No more malls, game arcades, white sand beaches, drives down the desert and most of all no more the luxury of my own room, where I spent most of the day listening and dancing to music. As I took down my posters of favourite actors and musicians from my wall, I suddenly felt like I wanted to stay... But it wasn't a choice left to me..

Bitter oneness

Relationships seem to be the root of bitterness
Expectations blossom from that type of oneness
Why fight wars when you can prevent it all?
Just choose to be alone, take a tough call.

Finally.. Im loving it with no inhibitions

Today I finally got the time to write something in this blog of mine, which I started with much passion and determination to keep alive. Now that I have caught my breath and just before I am caught up in the rat race again.. There are a few things I want to get off my chest. The main thing I have done today is answer to myself... Do I want to remain a journalist?
So far in a nutshell I have had people advice me: Do your MBA, you will earn money… Get married and join a magazine, where its 9 to 5 most days... Become a teacher, you love kids nah? … Go study abroad it will give you some time to think about what you want to do...
I just kept listening on everyone’s advice and even heard someone say, all failures land up as journalists… Hmm.. yeah but isn’t failure the stepping stone to success? Well honestly leaving the stress factor aside and the fact that I have now officially become a stranger to my family, a few friends and even my boyfriend – I LOVE BEING A REPORTER.. I fought for it for two years against people saying I could never be one.. sighs… The same group of people have come up to me and said, I proved them wrong.. Well so I am not a failure after all… J As for my personal life I figured I need to be more organized… Well that will take me some time.. But now for me to turn back would be the toughest thing as I am addicted to reporting… crimes, controversies, the power of information, the thrill of breaking news and knowing things first hand, the fact of people believing what I have to say… I guess its time to stop blaming my profession and taking up the challenge.. As of today I was also promised understanding from those a part of my inner circle.. What more do I need.. As for my family.. they are my family not out of choice and will have to be for the rest of their lives…

I can see what's in your darkness

There you go again
Down darkness lane
You don't realise
I can see and despise
All that your trying to hide
You hurt me deep inside
Reality will show
Even when you don't know

Save her

She wanted to love like there was no limit. She wanted to love and be loved in return. But as she transformed into a lady from a little girl, the assurance of finding this love only remained a dream or a hope. The kind of dream that leads one to buy more lottery tickets than one can afford and in the end, land up broke and in debt. That was her story. Broken-hearted and lost that's what summed up what she was until that one day, when enough was really too much.
There she was with those dreamy eyes filled with emotion during that quiet moment at the beach. When suddenly she gave up. She cried out every bit of what was in her and decided to embrace what was in her reach. The fear of landing up a lonely woman with nothing left, but the birds, trees and animals to talk to, led her to what seemed practical and not what she really dreamed of. If all the glass panes in the world broke all at the same time, the sound would be of a magnitude more than any human ear could bear. Her heartbreak was so deep and so big that it was too heavy for anyone to bear. She knew it and she swallowed a ball of saliva and took in a big sigh and told herself, "Grow up girl, face the real world. It is not a fairytale."
As she rose up and walked away from her solitude, she promised never to sit alone and think about her dream. She silenced her mind every time it wondered. She buried herself in work and other cares of the world. People turned and pointed. They called her names, they called her a crazy workaholic, a heartless ice maiden and even a freak of nature. But no one, not a single one gave her a second thought or ever really knew her.
The ice-maiden accepted whatever came her way. Half-love, half-life, half-a-man, half-a-marriage which came with more than full pain, full hurt, full betrayal and an illusion that was far from who she really was or used to be.
Save her. Look around you and you will find her in some woman or another. Don't betray her. Don't shatter her dreams. Understand that deep inside she dreams like when she was just 9-years old for a prince charming. Don't give her illusions of the one unless you are.

HMmmmmm

Here I am now I let it all go,
The consequences, I reallly don't know,
Suddenly feel so light, but alive no more,
Nothing is right but my chin is up high,
But something is missing far from nigh,
Hope within trudges me on the way,
A feeling to smile come what may,
Someday I will have you again my love,
Trusting this with faith in the one above.


----- Ritz

Prayer of my heart

The feelings inside prompt me to write songs
Songs of brokeness and all that my heart longs
Hopes and dreams seemed close but are now far away
Lord give me strength to get up and live each day
I could allow myself to roll in pity
But Lord not with you by me
I choose to be strong in you
Praise you in all I do
Without your love Lord I'd be dead
Please comfort me like you said
I am sorry for the times I wasn't hearing your still calm voice
I am sorry for going astray and making my own wrong choice
In your mercy forgive me
Redeem me, set me free

QUESTIONS

Whats the point in you saying I’m beautiful when you make me feel ugly?
Whats the point in the time and effort, when your not sure exactly?
Why should I give you surety of the future when you say you can do without me?
Why should I not look for greener pastures when you look at every pasture around?
How should I cope and control my emotions when all you do is provoke me to wits end?
How can you expect me to be secure and stable when you yourself are not really sure?
When I gave you my all you threw it back to me.
When I need you never really can make it.
Where am I to go for refuge?
Where can I search solace?


Questions that I had within me that were already there before you now seem simpler
Now everything’s more complicated. You said everything will be ok
Was that a line from some movie you picked up?

PUBLISHED IN JAN 2006

Domestic Airport Suffers Congestion

Chaos prevailed at the domestic terminals at Santacruz on Tuesday as most of the flights, both incoming and outgoing, were running behind schedule putting hundreds of passengers and their relatives to great inconvenience.

Though no tangible reason was given by the concerned airlines it was learned that the worst hit were Air Deccan, Indian Airlines, Jet Airways and Kingfisher.

When the board of the Arrivals at Mumbai was checked on 9th January between 12pm and 3pm it was observed that only about 5 % flights were on time. Deccan Airways flight DN-763 from Bangalore was delayed by more than 2 hours. The Indian Airlines flight IC-165 expected at 9:55 landed at 13:20 and IC-166 from Kochi which was expected at 12:00 landed at 13:25. Jet Airways Flight 9W-350 from Vadodara was delayed by 40 minutes while 9W-328 from Ahmedabad was delayed by 30 minutes. Those flying by Kingfisher Airlines experienced delays of 45 minutes on a flight IT-106 from Bangalore

Marina Rosario, Housewife, said, "My husband is a frequent flyer and travels at least three times a week by flight. Delays are such an expected thing and it is a real harassment to passengers. The delays of 10-15 minutes are all fine but more than that it gets unbearable. People who have to be in time for conferences face so many problems because of this."
People who come to receive their loved ones at airports sometimes would have to wait for hours with no confirmation on what time the flights would actually land. A little bad weather spells out major inconvenience to passengers and flights get delayed for more than 3 hours or cancelled, one of the recent examples being the foggy weather in Delhi.

Girish Nair, Medical Doctor and frequent flyer, said, "It is really detestable how so many flights get delayed on a regular basis every single day and nothing is being done about it. I had studied my medicine about 20 years ago from Moscow and back then come fog or snow flights would at most get delayed by 15 minutes and not more. Here we are in the 21 century with modern technology but people have to bear with flights being delayed by an hour and sometimes even more. Personally I feel the number of flights should be decreased or the landing space should be increased. Instead of beautifying the airports something just has to be done about the flight delays."

Brig. Chowdhary, Retired Army Office, said, "The Airport is like a railway station with people waiting hours for flights to come in. The flight I am waiting for was supposed to land at, but God only knows when it will arrive."

Himadri Katharani, Businesswoman, said, "About half an hour has past since I have been waiting for my niece at the airport. Her flight was to land at \n13:45 but no signs of her yet. The automated real time system said the flight would land at about 14:05 while the live operator said it is supposed to have landed at 14:10."
People who come to receive their loved ones at airports sometimes would have to wait for hours with no confirmation on what time the flights would actually land. A little bad weather spells out major inconvenience to passengers and flights get delayed for more than 3 hours or cancelled, one of the recent examples being the foggy weather in Delhi.


Most people feel that something should be done about this air traffic congestion. They feel that more focus should be put on the handling of air traffic rather than on other issues that different authorities concerned with this airport are more focused on. Mumbai Airport continues to cry out as it is unable to cope with the ever growing air traffic.
Most people feel that something should be done about this air traffic congestion. They feel that more focus should be put on the handling of air traffic rather than on other issues that different authorities concerned with this airport are more focused on. This Mumbai Airport continues to cry out as it is unable to cope with the ever growing air traffic.

When Liars Lie

When liars lie
The others die
I wish I could fly
But all I can do is cry

When liars lie
For them its a piece of pie
But what good is their try
Just to deceive those nigh

When liars lie
They try to deny
The truth they defy
I just cant understand why

The cookie : My life

I feel like the cookie is crumbling again
The cookie is really overbaked and tough
The cookie is totally driving me insane
But thats the way God made it, quiet rough

The cookie has many flavours rolled in one
I could never be bored cause it takes me places
Only God knows when the cookie will finally be done
I dont know if it ends will behind it leave any traces

Ice Man

Mr Ice man your touch has frozen
Your heart beats no more
Your emotions cooling off by the dozen
Here I lay as it hurts doubling by four

I call to tell you but the ice chokes me
I reach out to warm the inner parts of you
I try to open my eyes but the frost doesnt let me see
Theres absolutely nothing to do but lay blue

Hey ice man I hold on tight as the icicles pierce
I ask why but nobody answers me, im alone
The wind rages on, the cold gets even more fierce
Here I try against all odds not to freeze into stone

Toast to my dreams

Close to my dreams yet not near

Building courage against all fear

Learning that change is only constant

The goals to achieve are very distant

Making eveyones smile dawn first

Awaiting the day for my joy outburst

Not giving up no matter what

Going to try till I hit jackpot

When

When your eyes reached out to mine
When our souls began to twine
When my heart began to beat with thine
When you made everything fine

When the skies were grey no more
When I had no idea what was in store
When I had fallen despite efforts to ignore
When to love you opened the door

When all things sorted themselves so well
When in my mind you began to dwell
When all you said, in my heart rang a bell
When all seemed to work out and gel

Thats when I realised I could never love someone more than him

How can one forget?...

Words all that had to be said to reach out

Love that had to be shown and not hidden

Dreams that got buried along with you

Tears i wish i could stop but nothing helps

Laughter that once gave life haunts me on

Memories sweet shattered along with the windshield

Friendship that is paused till I breath my last here

Changes come with your absence are hard to accept

Secrets only for you locked up in my heart untold

Wedding dress buried never to be worn at your wedding

Road to your funeral mass breaks me everytime

Relief yet to be found , So help me God

A Day Aboard the Good Shepherd Ambulance

It was 7am and Amol ‘Bhaiya’ (meaning brother) as kids would call him, got the engine of the ambulance started and made his 2-hour journey to V.T. (Victoria Terminus) all the way from the Panvel Center.
Once he reached a place near a familiar slum, he parked the ambulance and looked out for street and slum children. Some of them who have grown familiar with Amol run from every corner, all set to spend a day at the Panvel center.

As I helped gather the children, I found this little boy asleep right in the middle of the footpath. We tried to wake him up but he couldn’t even lift his body. He was totally high on some sniffing solvent. Amol who is very experienced with street kids told me something very unfortunate. He said that these children could get hold of these solvents at a very cheap price and would rather indulge in these hallucinogens than eat a proper meal. This is not the story of just one child but of many children who live on the streets and in the slums of India.
Before we took off with the children, we checked if they had any kind of injuries that required our immediate attention. We also saw if they were in need of any clothing. After assessing the kids we bought the supplies, which were needed and treated their injuries. The kids, who visited the center before, encouraged the first timers and made them familiar with the routine. They were all excited to go to the Panvel center.


Just as we arrived at the Panvel center, we got the children ready for a bath and gave them each a brush, towel and a bar of soap. Most of them played games, while the rest were bathing. They went to bathe happily taking turns. The staff people also joined the children in their games.


After the boys settled down with a pair of new clothes, hunger pangs started to set in. A strong and lovely smell of vegetable curry made the children get ready to eat a delicious meal. They sat in line waiting eagerly. We all gave a little prayer of thanks before the meal was served and then the children got set to feast upon a filling and wholesome meal. The type of meal which most of them don’t get for weeks at hand.

The Rag Story:

A nameless child ravages through his treasure to find enough to help him get one meal for the day. A treasure that is everyone else’s trash. If this treasure doesn’t suffice for the day the child polishes shoes, washes cars, sells lottery tickets or newspapers, carries luggage for hotel guests and helps at construction sites or garages. It’s even worse for the child if it is a girl. Girls are only forced into prostitution and face being victimized as sexual exploits everyday.

This nameless child is nothing but the face of millions of children working as ragpickers. They labour from the tender age of 2 or 3 and remain in the trade for as long as they can breath on the land.

Each day these children arise at dawn and start their daily routine. They carry heavy gunny bags to collect rubbish, while children their age carry bags of books to school. At the other end of the roadside they can see many children traveling a few kilometers to reach school by bus or train, while they mostly walk barefoot over 20 kilometers a day. These children are clothed with uniforms made of cloth, which is filthy, tattered, ill fitting, and wholly inadequate for protection especially, when the weather is wet and cold.

They compete with stray animals and cattle for recyclable garbage like paper, plastic, bottles, bones, metals and rotting discarded food thrown out by households and railway passengers. They collect and sort out this garbage with their bare hands and fill their bags. If they are able to make good earnings of the trash they rush to the nearest roadside eatery just to fill their little tummies. On the other hand if the earnings don’t amount to much then they resort to other means of earning, which is mostly stealing.

So who buys the trash from them? The answer is regular scrap dealers who give a tiny fee for the loot the children collect. This fee is a meager payment and most of the times these kids go hungry for days. Life is of little value for them and they get into bad habits that seem to give them momentary bliss. Alcohol, drugs and other hallucinogens become their trusted friends. They also frequently get into fights and face dangers that threaten their life daily. Fatal Diseases are never far away. The nights pose as an even greater peril for them as they are physically, mentally and even sexually abused.

In society these children are tagged as antisocial elements, an embarrassment to the community, and unfit to live. Society doesn’t understand that these children have this lifestyle forced onto them. They lack the basic needs that most of us enjoy, as they come from violent and broken homes where there is parental drunkenness, beatings, starvation and deprivation of security and love. Most of them are orphans fighting a daily battle to survive.


In a nutshell most children who are ragpickers are:

· Abused and exploited
· Deprived: lacking job, money, food and shelter, they are forced into begging, thieving, drug peddling, pimping, and prostitution
· Regarded as juvenile delinquents and antisocial elements, they are often falsely accused of crimes and sent to secure homes of correction, or worse, put into adult prisons
· Engaged in gambling, a popular pastime on the street
· Denied education
· Cut off from parental influence and guidance.

The main antisocial habits among these children are:

· They are involved with drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, and unhealthy sexual habits.
· Since their income is less than their expenses, due to bad habits, they are perpetual debtors to the retail scrap dealers.
· They participate in stealing, street-fighting, and delinquent activities.
· Dirty, they are unwelcome guests at weddings, social gatherings, and shopping zones.
· They are physically vulnerable to health problems and infectious skin diseases.
· They are victimized socially through poverty, illiteracy, and rejection.
· With no facilities available for bathing or laundry, they are forced to live in filth and squalor.(They have no education in Personal Hygiene).

Lies and Liars

Why does it hurt when people lie? A question I was thinking about a lot today. Yes, somebody lied to me infact a many somebodies lately. Whats worse when you know that someone is lying to you and just goes on and on and on, without the slightest knowledge or notion that you might have already found their lies out.
First on you feel like a fool. Why? Oh well because the liar probably thought you were dumb enough to be lied to. He or she probably thought you were not smart enough to find out.Then you think no maybe thats not it. Its just that they think you trust them and you would never question them. Now this stage is very hard for you. It is hard because you end up feeling guilty. You start thinking - "I should've trusted him or her... Why did I have to find out that he or she has lied to me?" That's where I am at currently.
But wait a moment.... Why did he or she or they lie? How can he or she or they look me in the eyes and act like nothing is wrong. I love he, she and them but I am hurt. I just want to be on my own right now. What's better I am very far from he, she and them. All of them cant come to see me.... Isolation... Just me, my dog, my family (whom I can stay away from whenever I like), the stars and the moon at night, the sun at daytime, the birds, the insects and a few towns people whom I can just ignore.
Now I dread going back... I know I have to ... Should I lie and tell he, she and them I'm still out of town? Gees that would make me a liar too. So lies give birth to many lies and many more liars.... Stop lying!! For heavens sake just stop!!! God save me... Heal my aching heart...

Tomorrow never comes

A girl in love asked her boyfriend..
Girl: "Tell me... who do you love most in this world?
"Boy: "You, of course!"
Girl: "In your heart, what am I to you?"
Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said,"You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."


After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems... their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other... The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.... At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, You don't love me! The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib! Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while.... He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, If I'm really not your missing rib, please letme go..... She continued, It is less painful this way...let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners.
Five years went by.... He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly...... She had left the country and back.... She had married a foreigner and divorced..... He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met.... At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes.... He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you... Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back...You know my number... Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.. Good-bye. One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York. In the event that shocked the world.. Midnight..... Once again, like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart.... He finally knew, she was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury..... Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental.... We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones.... And even though we know that we ought to think twice and act wisely, it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives. Tomorrow may never come; give and accept what you have today.

Forever

You whispered Forever in my ear
Heard others say that before dear
They came in my life took my heart
Stabbed it deep and tore it apart
But forever sounds genuine from you
When i look in your eyes, I see its true.

Todays poem

Hey what do you know

Im smiling with a glow

Whats goin on you ask

Ill tell you its not much a task

Just met the one who spoke to my heart

Who made me whole when I was apart

The one who won me over inspite of me

he cut away all complications you see

He treats me like I'm a woman, a princess

Makes me feel beautiful, to him I'm priceless

We make each other fall deeper into our love

Trust me, this is love created by the One above

Whispering the need forever

Never to leave just never

A surest security

True embrace finally

Every moment cherished

Life full and nourished

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Hey guys i used to have one of these... dute lil comps... played games on them when i was about 5 years or so... was my bros comp which he would bully me and not let me use.. lol but today the comp is mine

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My true colour

My true color is Orange!

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

One Stormy Moment 2 Years Back

Its been quiet a few nights where its been really hard for me to sleep.... thoughts within me are just pounding at my door.. They scream for me to take the time and actually think about them.. Sometime ago I had a fight... I fought with someone I dedicated my life to.. someone who is more than just someone... He created me and I have His breath, the breath of life within me.... I was angry with Him .. angry for not letting things go my way... There are just some moments when you feel like you have lost everything and life is never going to be the same... well the truth I found is life will never be the same and I did loose something but not everything... I thought strength was found within yourself.. But the truth is God provides you with a little less within yourself so you dont stop depending on Him... He provides strength in many different ways.. He did give me that much I needed.. when i almost went to the pits He lifted me.. Thank you so much...

2 years back I lost something really precious... Something I will never have again... A friendship that was unique and a sister I am proud I had.. I miss her so much.. 2 years have gone sooo fast it seems like only yesterday that she was here .. laughin like a hyena giving me the most genuine and warm hugs I ever got from anyone... I don't regret losing her because I'm thankful that I had her in my life... we meet so many people everyday we hardly get to know them truly.. I'm glad that when our paths met we actually joined hands and walked the journey of life together for some time... I feel priviledged to be one who knew her deeply.. Someone whom she considered her - Chadi Buddy (lol)... Seems like only yesterday I called her and asked her to meet up with me... I don't regret anything more than I regret not having to tell her that I love her very much.. and that I'm sorry to have not let her known that she was precious to me.. I live with the hope that she already knew.. I stopped blaming myself for it.. cause if I did know what was going to happen I would've done all I could to let her know... I would've told her what she meant to me.. I would have one all those things we loved doing together.. laugh like no one was around.. talk our hearts out like there was no tomorrow.. Some people are priviledged enough to get that one last time with the one they love before that loved one passes away from this life.. I didn't get that chance... I have learnt one lesson in life through this.. is always make the people special to you truly know and feel they mean a lot to you.. smother them with love.. whats in it for you to loose? you'd only gain and prevent yourself from making the mistake I did... Love with no bounds.. smile with no end... cause you never know when bad days hit hard...

I have no complains.. But to be honest it still hurts... Everyday I still think about her.. Sometimes I forget about what happened 2 years ago.. close my eyes and think of those days waiting for her to come from her lectures... hanging out from the train like we used to or just searching for her in the carrom room.... so many memories.. She maybe asleep in the depths below but in memories she is alive... I can only thank God for letting me have her in my life.. though short a while.. I will cherish it forever... I also learnt to cherish every moment every day .. you never know when your time is up... you may never do all the things you planned to do.. so live for today... tomorrow may never come.... I get up everyday thanking God that I'm still here.. I lack a friend only to understand how loneliness feels .. all so that I can reach out to someone who is lonely.. someone who lost something too...

Like I said I was angry with God for quiet sometime... but then I realised there is a bigger picture to life... Life doesn't just move on like a drag it changes.... you learn new things from different experiences... good and bad... Thank God for both... cause the good ones give you something to smile about and the bad just makes you stronger... I was running away from God.. running far... only to realise that I needed Him real bad... now I hang on to Him tighter...

Numbing Down

I have nothing left in me to be.
To react, to cry, to be angry.
You ask me if I am upset,
Scared to say what I'll regret.
I don't know if I'm allowed this rage.
Can I erase this chapter of my page?
Have I made the same mistake again?
Was I to naive to dream of summer rain?
Is happiness just a state of mind,
Absolutely not meant for my kind?
Is trust and love only for the dictionary?
Am I to take it as a joy ride, not seriously?
I guess theres no place for me to be alive
Being numb, a stone, emotionless I'll thrive
Like a parasite feeding on my own emotions I'll grow
Storms tearing me part by part, only a smile to show
Being real has no joy, it has absolutely no reward,
Doesn't get you the prize, you'll not progress forward.

Storms Within

Piercing dagger
Heart's pieces
Messy scatter
Promise denied
Hope killed
Faith confused
Violent cutting
Damaged emotion
Sinking feeling
Beauty fading
Confidence dead
Restless insatbility
Lost smile
Silent tears
Artificial smile
Undiscovered person
Trapped forever

Wake up oh my generation but dont go back to sleep!!

Hmm lets see what did i do today... i was a really good girl!!.. Was at home today.. Working on my project on the recent doctors strike in Maharashtra.. If its something worth while i will post it on the blog... n yeah gotto prepare for my exams.. The last one for this year atleast.. I am graduating.. Yippeee!! I am a big girl now.. Lol... I am really bored today.. and i really wanted to go for a movie or something.. But nah not happening got work today...

Relevance of the doctor’s strike- my life now revolves around it.. Got to find the essence of the strike.. Was it ethical for the doctors to strike?.. Was it fair for the Government to take advantage and not give the doctors a good working environment?.. I mean doesn’t every individual deserve respect?.. I am trying not to take sides.. I am not supposed to for my project.. But I am definitely on the side of the doctors.. The Government is playing big bully.. Gees its getting to me i have to do something about it... cant wait to be a journalist have so much pent up inside me.. Can’t wait to write.. To write as a weapon for society.. Violence is definitely not the answer... but we sure need a revolution.. in every area of our lives.. Education, governance, defence, corporations, business... all of us need one..
But not one like in Rang De Basanti.. Where the generation only awakens to fall back to sleep while their lovers watched planes fly over their heads somewhere in scenic rural Punjab.. Guys .. All you Indians (me included) we do have to do something..
I am not saying this because of some mild euphoric revolutionary ideas birthed in me because of the doctor’s strike.. This whole semester been dealing with crime, page three, communalism and trade unions.. Trust me most of us don't have the real picture.. We have only the tip of the iceberg...
So start a revolution with the need to know... the need to know more than what the media says.. More than what your parents, teachers, elders, opinion makers say.. C’mon rise up people.. Not only the young.. The old.. Not only women but men.. Not only guys but girls.. Not only the marginalized the rich... c’mon everybody who lives and breathes wake up...
I had this inside me a lot.. Just had to let it out.. I don’t think I am wrong to believe this.. I don’t think idealism should die.. It drives one towards perfection.. Maybe we will never reach perfection but atleast we will reach closer to it.... pull up your socks people.. Its time...

reply to the gay comment

hey .. just got a cooment saing im gay... just to make all things clear im a girl.. in love with a guy.. soo tht dont make me gay in neway.. just clarifying... whoever katie's sister is...

The Memorable

3 wonderful months ..a milestone of precious moments..

I was thinking how I would put words down,
Of how you made me smile from a frown,
They say it’s too soon to say,
But with you I know its okay.
Cause in your eyes I see something really deep,
I’ve never seen before beyond measure and leap.
I have no words to express all I feel inside,
You fill me with overwhelming joy and pride.

What have you done to me?
Make me smile, make me feel free.
I never can and never will regret,
The first smile, the first time we met.
The first phone call, the first kiss,
The first everything spells bliss.
In just 3 days you gave me what no one did in years,
You heard me out, made me smile and bore my tears.
In time, God sent, you came and changed my life,
When I almost gave up, fed up of all the strife.

You make me feel alive again,
As I dance I feel the rain,
Clouds pave my way as I walk,
I glow with love for you as we talk.
I want to keep knowing you,
You make me feel brand new.
I just want to love you more than I have ever loved anyone,
Give you life's brightness and bring you the rays of the sun.

Hey guys... Im really overwhelmed at this moment... a year back i was going through the fire for quiet sometime... lost myself... lived only in my dreams cos reality seemed too painful... till 3 months back on Christmas day i bumped into the most wonderful person i ever could know in my life.... Never met anyone like him... never could stop smiling after i met him for the first time.. no one made me feel like that ever... n now its been just 3 months but... gees its like the best three months i ever had.. He has become my strength n i face everyday knowin that everythin will be ok... knowin theres hope and life can be beautiful... all those bad days, months and years well i dont mind them anymore.. cause i had the best 3 months with a someone who actually loves me and knows that he does... people say im crazy .. they say its just 3 months.. but my mom who i believe has better experience than anyone of these advisors says that 3 months, 3 years, decades or centuries dont make the difference.. its knowing that you want to be with someone for sure that does ... cause once you make up your mind .. and i mean the two people in the relationship make up their mind ... noone or nothing can come in the way
the best thing was the fact that from the very start as friends we decided not to hide anything and be honest with each other... n im glad we didnt hide anything.. Im glad we shared the same feelings.. this never happened to me before.. i never knew this actually could ever happen... the reason for me being so open and writing this blog... is to tell everyone never give up ... dont... jus dont... be strong.. and if strength fails you hope and have faith keep going be persistent.. theres something better ....
hope the best 4 everyone... wishing everyone Gods choicest blessings and loads of joy and happiness
love,
Ritz

 

Commercialised arent we?

Im tired of broken hearts and giggling dolls,
Commercialised sodas and shopping malls
Why do all things turn so artificial?
People have turned so superficial.
I want the land without boundaries to go free,
The breeze in my face the stars to clearly see.
My eyes almost blind with the worthless dizzle-dazzle,
It is all about the money, leading to loads of hassle.
Where did all the priceless things go?
Did mastercard hoard it to the depths below?
Its almost out of reach, nobody cares.
In silence none say a word, no one dares,
To go against the flow,
Where one can really grow,
And not get lost in the crowd,
Have their own voice aloud.
Everyone's losing their face,
Getting lost in meaningless space
Who you really are is a mystery,
You are lost in glamorous fantasy.
Do you need titles to appreciate who you are?
Do you need others to worship you as a star?
Cant you just be yourself, set yourself free
Messed up and afraid, you cant face reality

Condition of my heart

No more silence,
No more violence,
You opened my heart,
Understood me part by part,
Feelin free,
Heaven n ecstacy.

PS: Dedicated to you my darling who makes me smile everyday.. thanking God im alive to see you.. to meet you.. to know you

No fatal sentiments

No fatal sentiments
No alcohol, but im feelin high,
Looking at the lavender sky.
Missing many a someone,
Cant wait till my Life's done.
The good Lord says He has great plans,
Lets see im not here to make fans.
Since the light has touched me im changed,
My heart and mind no more deranged.

Random thoughts deep inside, got to get rid of my past load,
Got to move on, put on a smile, carry on, on the narrow road

Take back all your sympathy,
Im not here for a dose of empathy.
Just need a trustful friend,
To hear me out at my end.
Im not any kind of sentimental,
Sentiments are highy fatal.

Azriela Rhymes

Your silence,
Brings violence,
Mind Crazy,
Vision hazy,
talk again,
Bring rain,
Need flowers,
Harvest showers,
Need you
State blue,
Freedom desired,
Love required
heart break
life shake
dream lost
big cost
revive me
set free
not late
grasp faith
determined feeling
reach healing
no pleasing
only releasing
truth only
thts surely
hypocritism out
cleansed mouth
God's delight
big fight
good bad
happy sad
choice mine
got sign
narrow road
off load
got company
no apathy
helping hand
to understand

hello

Hey ... this is my first entry here on blogspot.... nice to start something new... hmmm im really tired rigth now its 3:36 am ... soo ill just say gnite for now... with a promise of entries later.... see ya.. loads of love azee