Toast to my dreams

Close to my dreams yet not near

Building courage against all fear

Learning that change is only constant

The goals to achieve are very distant

Making eveyones smile dawn first

Awaiting the day for my joy outburst

Not giving up no matter what

Going to try till I hit jackpot

When

When your eyes reached out to mine
When our souls began to twine
When my heart began to beat with thine
When you made everything fine

When the skies were grey no more
When I had no idea what was in store
When I had fallen despite efforts to ignore
When to love you opened the door

When all things sorted themselves so well
When in my mind you began to dwell
When all you said, in my heart rang a bell
When all seemed to work out and gel

Thats when I realised I could never love someone more than him

How can one forget?...

Words all that had to be said to reach out

Love that had to be shown and not hidden

Dreams that got buried along with you

Tears i wish i could stop but nothing helps

Laughter that once gave life haunts me on

Memories sweet shattered along with the windshield

Friendship that is paused till I breath my last here

Changes come with your absence are hard to accept

Secrets only for you locked up in my heart untold

Wedding dress buried never to be worn at your wedding

Road to your funeral mass breaks me everytime

Relief yet to be found , So help me God

A Day Aboard the Good Shepherd Ambulance

It was 7am and Amol ‘Bhaiya’ (meaning brother) as kids would call him, got the engine of the ambulance started and made his 2-hour journey to V.T. (Victoria Terminus) all the way from the Panvel Center.
Once he reached a place near a familiar slum, he parked the ambulance and looked out for street and slum children. Some of them who have grown familiar with Amol run from every corner, all set to spend a day at the Panvel center.

As I helped gather the children, I found this little boy asleep right in the middle of the footpath. We tried to wake him up but he couldn’t even lift his body. He was totally high on some sniffing solvent. Amol who is very experienced with street kids told me something very unfortunate. He said that these children could get hold of these solvents at a very cheap price and would rather indulge in these hallucinogens than eat a proper meal. This is not the story of just one child but of many children who live on the streets and in the slums of India.
Before we took off with the children, we checked if they had any kind of injuries that required our immediate attention. We also saw if they were in need of any clothing. After assessing the kids we bought the supplies, which were needed and treated their injuries. The kids, who visited the center before, encouraged the first timers and made them familiar with the routine. They were all excited to go to the Panvel center.


Just as we arrived at the Panvel center, we got the children ready for a bath and gave them each a brush, towel and a bar of soap. Most of them played games, while the rest were bathing. They went to bathe happily taking turns. The staff people also joined the children in their games.


After the boys settled down with a pair of new clothes, hunger pangs started to set in. A strong and lovely smell of vegetable curry made the children get ready to eat a delicious meal. They sat in line waiting eagerly. We all gave a little prayer of thanks before the meal was served and then the children got set to feast upon a filling and wholesome meal. The type of meal which most of them don’t get for weeks at hand.

The Rag Story:

A nameless child ravages through his treasure to find enough to help him get one meal for the day. A treasure that is everyone else’s trash. If this treasure doesn’t suffice for the day the child polishes shoes, washes cars, sells lottery tickets or newspapers, carries luggage for hotel guests and helps at construction sites or garages. It’s even worse for the child if it is a girl. Girls are only forced into prostitution and face being victimized as sexual exploits everyday.

This nameless child is nothing but the face of millions of children working as ragpickers. They labour from the tender age of 2 or 3 and remain in the trade for as long as they can breath on the land.

Each day these children arise at dawn and start their daily routine. They carry heavy gunny bags to collect rubbish, while children their age carry bags of books to school. At the other end of the roadside they can see many children traveling a few kilometers to reach school by bus or train, while they mostly walk barefoot over 20 kilometers a day. These children are clothed with uniforms made of cloth, which is filthy, tattered, ill fitting, and wholly inadequate for protection especially, when the weather is wet and cold.

They compete with stray animals and cattle for recyclable garbage like paper, plastic, bottles, bones, metals and rotting discarded food thrown out by households and railway passengers. They collect and sort out this garbage with their bare hands and fill their bags. If they are able to make good earnings of the trash they rush to the nearest roadside eatery just to fill their little tummies. On the other hand if the earnings don’t amount to much then they resort to other means of earning, which is mostly stealing.

So who buys the trash from them? The answer is regular scrap dealers who give a tiny fee for the loot the children collect. This fee is a meager payment and most of the times these kids go hungry for days. Life is of little value for them and they get into bad habits that seem to give them momentary bliss. Alcohol, drugs and other hallucinogens become their trusted friends. They also frequently get into fights and face dangers that threaten their life daily. Fatal Diseases are never far away. The nights pose as an even greater peril for them as they are physically, mentally and even sexually abused.

In society these children are tagged as antisocial elements, an embarrassment to the community, and unfit to live. Society doesn’t understand that these children have this lifestyle forced onto them. They lack the basic needs that most of us enjoy, as they come from violent and broken homes where there is parental drunkenness, beatings, starvation and deprivation of security and love. Most of them are orphans fighting a daily battle to survive.


In a nutshell most children who are ragpickers are:

· Abused and exploited
· Deprived: lacking job, money, food and shelter, they are forced into begging, thieving, drug peddling, pimping, and prostitution
· Regarded as juvenile delinquents and antisocial elements, they are often falsely accused of crimes and sent to secure homes of correction, or worse, put into adult prisons
· Engaged in gambling, a popular pastime on the street
· Denied education
· Cut off from parental influence and guidance.

The main antisocial habits among these children are:

· They are involved with drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, and unhealthy sexual habits.
· Since their income is less than their expenses, due to bad habits, they are perpetual debtors to the retail scrap dealers.
· They participate in stealing, street-fighting, and delinquent activities.
· Dirty, they are unwelcome guests at weddings, social gatherings, and shopping zones.
· They are physically vulnerable to health problems and infectious skin diseases.
· They are victimized socially through poverty, illiteracy, and rejection.
· With no facilities available for bathing or laundry, they are forced to live in filth and squalor.(They have no education in Personal Hygiene).

Lies and Liars

Why does it hurt when people lie? A question I was thinking about a lot today. Yes, somebody lied to me infact a many somebodies lately. Whats worse when you know that someone is lying to you and just goes on and on and on, without the slightest knowledge or notion that you might have already found their lies out.
First on you feel like a fool. Why? Oh well because the liar probably thought you were dumb enough to be lied to. He or she probably thought you were not smart enough to find out.Then you think no maybe thats not it. Its just that they think you trust them and you would never question them. Now this stage is very hard for you. It is hard because you end up feeling guilty. You start thinking - "I should've trusted him or her... Why did I have to find out that he or she has lied to me?" That's where I am at currently.
But wait a moment.... Why did he or she or they lie? How can he or she or they look me in the eyes and act like nothing is wrong. I love he, she and them but I am hurt. I just want to be on my own right now. What's better I am very far from he, she and them. All of them cant come to see me.... Isolation... Just me, my dog, my family (whom I can stay away from whenever I like), the stars and the moon at night, the sun at daytime, the birds, the insects and a few towns people whom I can just ignore.
Now I dread going back... I know I have to ... Should I lie and tell he, she and them I'm still out of town? Gees that would make me a liar too. So lies give birth to many lies and many more liars.... Stop lying!! For heavens sake just stop!!! God save me... Heal my aching heart...

Tomorrow never comes

A girl in love asked her boyfriend..
Girl: "Tell me... who do you love most in this world?
"Boy: "You, of course!"
Girl: "In your heart, what am I to you?"
Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said,"You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."


After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems... their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other... The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.... At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, You don't love me! The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib! Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while.... He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, If I'm really not your missing rib, please letme go..... She continued, It is less painful this way...let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners.
Five years went by.... He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly...... She had left the country and back.... She had married a foreigner and divorced..... He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met.... At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes.... He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you... Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back...You know my number... Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.. Good-bye. One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York. In the event that shocked the world.. Midnight..... Once again, like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart.... He finally knew, she was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury..... Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental.... We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones.... And even though we know that we ought to think twice and act wisely, it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives. Tomorrow may never come; give and accept what you have today.

Forever

You whispered Forever in my ear
Heard others say that before dear
They came in my life took my heart
Stabbed it deep and tore it apart
But forever sounds genuine from you
When i look in your eyes, I see its true.

Todays poem

Hey what do you know

Im smiling with a glow

Whats goin on you ask

Ill tell you its not much a task

Just met the one who spoke to my heart

Who made me whole when I was apart

The one who won me over inspite of me

he cut away all complications you see

He treats me like I'm a woman, a princess

Makes me feel beautiful, to him I'm priceless

We make each other fall deeper into our love

Trust me, this is love created by the One above

Whispering the need forever

Never to leave just never

A surest security

True embrace finally

Every moment cherished

Life full and nourished

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Hey guys i used to have one of these... dute lil comps... played games on them when i was about 5 years or so... was my bros comp which he would bully me and not let me use.. lol but today the comp is mine

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My true colour

My true color is Orange!

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

One Stormy Moment 2 Years Ago

Its been quiet a few nights where its been really hard for me to sleep.... thoughts within me are just pounding at my door.. They scream for me to take the time and actually think about them.. Sometime ago I had a fight... I fought with someone I dedicated my life to.. someone who is more than just someone... He created me and I have His breath, the breath of life within me.... I was angry with Him .. angry for not letting things go my way... There are just some moments when you feel like you have lost everything and life is never going to be the same... well the truth I found is life will never be the same and I did loose something but not everything... I thought strength was found within yourself.. But the truth is God provides you with a little less within yourself so you dont stop depending on Him... He provides strength in many different ways.. He did give me that much I needed.. when i almost went to the pits He lifted me.. Thank you so much...

2 years back I lost something really precious... Something I will never have again... A friendship that was unique and a sister I am proud I had.. I miss her so much.. 2 years have gone sooo fast it seems like only yesterday that she was here .. laughin like a hyena giving me the most genuine and warm hugs I ever got from anyone... I don't regret losing her because I'm thankful that I had her in my life... we meet so many people everyday we hardly get to know them truly.. I'm glad that when our paths met we actually joined hands and walked the journey of life together for some time... I feel priviledged to be one who knew her deeply.. Someone whom she considered her - Chadi Buddy (lol)... Seems like only yesterday I called her and asked her to meet up with me... I don't regret anything more than I regret not having to tell her that I love her very much.. and that I'm sorry to have not let her known that she was precious to me.. I live with the hope that she already knew.. I stopped blaming myself for it.. cause if I did know what was going to happen I would've done all I could to let her know... I would've told her what she meant to me.. I would have one all those things we loved doing together.. laugh like no one was around.. talk our hearts out like there was no tomorrow.. Some people are priviledged enough to get that one last time with the one they love before that loved one passes away from this life.. I didn't get that chance... I have learnt one lesson in life through this.. is always make the people special to you truly know and feel they mean a lot to you.. smother them with love.. whats in it for you to loose? you'd only gain and prevent yourself from making the mistake I did... Love with no bounds.. smile with no end... cause you never know when bad days hit hard...

I have no complains.. But to be honest it still hurts... Everyday I still think about her.. Sometimes I forget about what happened 2 years ago.. close my eyes and think of those days waiting for her to come from her lectures... hanging out from the train like we used to or just searching for her in the carrom room.... so many memories.. She maybe asleep in the depths below but in memories she is alive... I can only thank God for letting me have her in my life.. though short a while.. I will cherish it forever... I also learnt to cherish every moment every day .. you never know when your time is up... you may never do all the things you planned to do.. so live for today... tomorrow may never come.... I get up everyday thanking God that I'm still here.. I lack a friend only to understand how loneliness feels .. all so that I can reach out to someone who is lonely.. someone who lost something too...

Like I said I was angry with God for quiet sometime... but then I realised there is a bigger picture to life... Life doesn't just move on like a drag it changes.... you learn new things from different experiences... good and bad... Thank God for both... cause the good ones give you something to smile about and the bad just makes you stronger... I was running away from God.. running far... only to realise that I needed Him real bad... now I hang on to Him tighter...

Numbing Down

I have nothing left in me to be.
To react, to cry, to be angry.
You ask me if I am upset,
Scared to say what I'll regret.
I don't know if I'm allowed this rage.
Can I erase this chapter of my page?
Have I made the same mistake again?
Was I to naive to dream of summer rain?
Is happiness just a state of mind,
Absolutely not meant for my kind?
Is trust and love only for the dictionary?
Am I to take it as a joy ride, not seriously?
I guess theres no place for me to be alive
Being numb, a stone, emotionless I'll thrive
Like a parasite feeding on my own emotions I'll grow
Storms tearing me part by part, only a smile to show
Being real has no joy, it has absolutely no reward,
Doesn't get you the prize, you'll not progress forward.

Storms Within

Piercing dagger
Heart's pieces
Messy scatter
Promise denied
Hope killed
Faith confused
Violent cutting
Damaged emotion
Sinking feeling
Beauty fading
Confidence dead
Restless insatbility
Lost smile
Silent tears
Artificial smile
Undiscovered person
Trapped forever

Wake up oh my generation but dont go back to sleep!!

Hmm lets see what did i do today... i was a really good girl!!.. Was at home today.. Working on my project on the recent doctors strike in Maharashtra.. If its something worth while i will post it on the blog... n yeah gotto prepare for my exams.. The last one for this year atleast.. I am graduating.. Yippeee!! I am a big girl now.. Lol... I am really bored today.. and i really wanted to go for a movie or something.. But nah not happening got work today...

Relevance of the doctor’s strike- my life now revolves around it.. Got to find the essence of the strike.. Was it ethical for the doctors to strike?.. Was it fair for the Government to take advantage and not give the doctors a good working environment?.. I mean doesn’t every individual deserve respect?.. I am trying not to take sides.. I am not supposed to for my project.. But I am definitely on the side of the doctors.. The Government is playing big bully.. Gees its getting to me i have to do something about it... cant wait to be a journalist have so much pent up inside me.. Can’t wait to write.. To write as a weapon for society.. Violence is definitely not the answer... but we sure need a revolution.. in every area of our lives.. Education, governance, defence, corporations, business... all of us need one..
But not one like in Rang De Basanti.. Where the generation only awakens to fall back to sleep while their lovers watched planes fly over their heads somewhere in scenic rural Punjab.. Guys .. All you Indians (me included) we do have to do something..
I am not saying this because of some mild euphoric revolutionary ideas birthed in me because of the doctor’s strike.. This whole semester been dealing with crime, page three, communalism and trade unions.. Trust me most of us don't have the real picture.. We have only the tip of the iceberg...
So start a revolution with the need to know... the need to know more than what the media says.. More than what your parents, teachers, elders, opinion makers say.. C’mon rise up people.. Not only the young.. The old.. Not only women but men.. Not only guys but girls.. Not only the marginalized the rich... c’mon everybody who lives and breathes wake up...
I had this inside me a lot.. Just had to let it out.. I don’t think I am wrong to believe this.. I don’t think idealism should die.. It drives one towards perfection.. Maybe we will never reach perfection but atleast we will reach closer to it.... pull up your socks people.. Its time...

reply to the gay comment

hey .. just got a cooment saing im gay... just to make all things clear im a girl.. in love with a guy.. soo tht dont make me gay in neway.. just clarifying... whoever katie's sister is...

The Memorable

3 wonderful months ..a milestone of precious moments..

I was thinking how I would put words down,
Of how you made me smile from a frown,
They say it’s too soon to say,
But with you I know its okay.
Cause in your eyes I see something really deep,
I’ve never seen before beyond measure and leap.
I have no words to express all I feel inside,
You fill me with overwhelming joy and pride.

What have you done to me?
Make me smile, make me feel free.
I never can and never will regret,
The first smile, the first time we met.
The first phone call, the first kiss,
The first everything spells bliss.
In just 3 days you gave me what no one did in years,
You heard me out, made me smile and bore my tears.
In time, God sent, you came and changed my life,
When I almost gave up, fed up of all the strife.

You make me feel alive again,
As I dance I feel the rain,
Clouds pave my way as I walk,
I glow with love for you as we talk.
I want to keep knowing you,
You make me feel brand new.
I just want to love you more than I have ever loved anyone,
Give you life's brightness and bring you the rays of the sun.

Hey guys... Im really overwhelmed at this moment... a year back i was going through the fire for quiet sometime... lost myself... lived only in my dreams cos reality seemed too painful... till 3 months back on Christmas day i bumped into the most wonderful person i ever could know in my life.... Never met anyone like him... never could stop smiling after i met him for the first time.. no one made me feel like that ever... n now its been just 3 months but... gees its like the best three months i ever had.. He has become my strength n i face everyday knowin that everythin will be ok... knowin theres hope and life can be beautiful... all those bad days, months and years well i dont mind them anymore.. cause i had the best 3 months with a someone who actually loves me and knows that he does... people say im crazy .. they say its just 3 months.. but my mom who i believe has better experience than anyone of these advisors says that 3 months, 3 years, decades or centuries dont make the difference.. its knowing that you want to be with someone for sure that does ... cause once you make up your mind .. and i mean the two people in the relationship make up their mind ... noone or nothing can come in the way
the best thing was the fact that from the very start as friends we decided not to hide anything and be honest with each other... n im glad we didnt hide anything.. Im glad we shared the same feelings.. this never happened to me before.. i never knew this actually could ever happen... the reason for me being so open and writing this blog... is to tell everyone never give up ... dont... jus dont... be strong.. and if strength fails you hope and have faith keep going be persistent.. theres something better ....
hope the best 4 everyone... wishing everyone Gods choicest blessings and loads of joy and happiness
love,
Ritz


PS: It didn't work but God had a better plan in mind than I had for myself.. The guy mentioned here remains my friend. Well it wasn't meant to be, but I thank God that I have managed to move on.. so here's to my future cheers and God bless.

 

Commercialised arent we?

Im tired of broken hearts and giggling dolls,
Commercialised sodas and shopping malls
Why do all things turn so artificial?
People have turned so superficial.
I want the land without boundaries to go free,
The breeze in my face the stars to clearly see.
My eyes almost blind with the worthless dizzle-dazzle,
It is all about the money, leading to loads of hassle.
Where did all the priceless things go?
Did mastercard hoard it to the depths below?
Its almost out of reach, nobody cares.
In silence none say a word, no one dares,
To go against the flow,
Where one can really grow,
And not get lost in the crowd,
Have their own voice aloud.
Everyone's losing their face,
Getting lost in meaningless space
Who you really are is a mystery,
You are lost in glamorous fantasy.
Do you need titles to appreciate who you are?
Do you need others to worship you as a star?
Cant you just be yourself, set yourself free
Messed up and afraid, you cant face reality

Condition of my heart

No more silence,
No more violence,
You opened my heart,
Understood me part by part,
Feelin free,
Heaven n ecstacy.

PS: Dedicated to you my darling who makes me smile everyday.. thanking God im alive to see you.. to meet you.. to know you

No fatal sentiments

No fatal sentiments
No alcohol, but im feelin high,
Looking at the lavender sky.
Missing many a someone,
Cant wait till my Life's done.
The good Lord says He has great plans,
Lets see im not here to make fans.
Since the light has touched me im changed,
My heart and mind no more deranged.

Random thoughts deep inside, got to get rid of my past load,
Got to move on, put on a smile, carry on, on the narrow road

Take back all your sympathy,
Im not here for a dose of empathy.
Just need a trustful friend,
To hear me out at my end.
Im not any kind of sentimental,
Sentiments are highy fatal.

Azriela Rhymes

Your silence,
Brings violence,
Mind Crazy,
Vision hazy,
talk again,
Bring rain,
Need flowers,
Harvest showers,
Need you
State blue,
Freedom desired,
Love required
heart break
life shake
dream lost
big cost
revive me
set free
not late
grasp faith
determined feeling
reach healing
no pleasing
only releasing
truth only
thts surely
hypocritism out
cleansed mouth
God's delight
big fight
good bad
happy sad
choice mine
got sign
narrow road
off load
got company
no apathy
helping hand
to understand

hello

Hey ... this is my first entry here on blogspot.... nice to start something new... hmmm im really tired rigth now its 3:36 am ... soo ill just say gnite for now... with a promise of entries later.... see ya.. loads of love azee