Running thoughts

Well forgive me today I am going to be downright honest about what I feel. Certain things in my life especially those that happened around my teens and pre-teens has bugged me to the core... I have dealt with this anger and overcame it, but a certain incident has reopened my wounds and has caused me stress with interest..

Why cant people just be real? Why cant they be honest? Why cant they be satisfied with the little things in life? why is the measure of happiness based on their bank balances and wallets? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy????????

Has family lost its value? Is love just meant for fairytales in their dictionaries? Where is the childhood where a kid a can be a kid and not have to prove they are super genius? When a kid achieves something for their folks where's that appreciation hug or kiss? Where's the fathers who really cared to provide beyond money? Where are the mothers who protected their kids beyond their lives? Where are the siblings who love laughed played and supported each other? WHEREEEEE??????????

Am I a fool? Have I dreamed a dream? Is it too simple? Is it stupid? I just wanna shut myself in a vacuum and scream, cry, yell .. I want a punching bag that i can punch till it has no filling left in it... I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum.. But allow me to cos i couldn't be much of a kid when I should've been...  If no one likes it.. too bad its your problem not mine...

Look down upon me for my grandparents and parents mistakes all you like but remember you may be missing out on a chance to know me... I am not my father, I am not my mother, I am not my sister, I am not my brother, I am not my aunt, I am not my uncle, I am not my cousin sister, I am not like any of my grandparents.. I AM ME.. an individual.. genes carry traits but personality is developed by my choices... Who am I?
I am me.. Love me, Hate me or ignore me, but remember I am capable of loving, living and proving your judgments wrong.. I may not be great, but I always work towards improving myself and getting an edge not to trample someone else, but to better my life and to make the lives of the people I love easier..
Yes I love to death, I like to adore, I hate evil, i dislike presumptions... I am not ordinary or one amongst the crowd, I was created unique, I didn't evolve from a monkey, I was formed in my mother's womb for a special purpose.. There have been times I wanted to end my life and I am not scared to say it, but i have grown over that and realised how special life can be... I have learnt that to wait for true love is rewarding... I have learnt that there's beauty in the ashes. I have learnt that life always takes a new turn when u least expect.. What's going to happen?? I do not know.. I don't want to know because astrology is a curse I am satisfied in knowing that a surprise is waiting for me and in the end when the plan unfolds it will make sense.. Thank you God for making my life so beautiful. I don't feel angry anymore because I am reminded about the beauty in my life... So thank you God.. and sorry for the mindless ramble.. Just thoughts as they were running in my head. I have got my peace, so I am going back to living life.