From darkness to true love's light

She dreamt a dream of a perfect love with a man,
Her dream became real as real as ever can,
A sweet friendship blossomed to stand the test,
Seemed so real, Ecstasy, she ignored all the rest.
But she didn't see the grey in the violet sky,
The colours of love for him left her to cry.
Red for the violence, blue for the lust,
She was wrong to think in man to trust.
For the first time she gave it all,
Only to be beat up and take the fall.
Black for the darkness that tried to eat her,
White for the sweet nothings that beat her,
Brown for the mud on which she lay facewards,
Transparent the tears for a love that went waywards.
Looking at a knife to release her from this life.
Her corpse beckoned to a vast sea by her strife.

Then suddenly like a sunray of hope,
When her life lost all its scope,
Jesus spoke in a voice so clear,
It calmed down all  pain and fear,
You give up your life in haste,
Without thinking what you would waste,
I gave up my life for you to have life,
I bore the pain to give you strength in strife,
You know my promises yet you chose the world,
No human is perfect and Holy as I am Holy,
Only through me can you overcome the worldly.
She threw the knife lifted from drunken to sober,
Dead to her old self, renewed for His glory to conquer,
A new creation, she lived for Jesus completely,
He taught her His ways and she did greatly.

As per God's will she found the one meant to be,
He said your the bone of my bones, can you see,
They prayed, they fasted and sought Gods advice,
To start together the work of ministry, and rise,
Together in love they laboured being perfected each day,
Both realised they wouldn't want life any other way.

A prayer

God confirm Your prophesy,

Give me a vision so I can see clearly.

Haven’t I been saved from the curse?

Why am I being attacked much worse?

Why do the ones I love suffer in front of me?

And yet I can’t reach out - a feeling of inadequacy.

I wanted to spread my arms around them,

But my arms fall short, increaseth the chaos and tandem.

My voice remains unheard again trapped, stuck,

I put my trust in You and not in fortune or luck.

I am on my knees, I surrender it all,

I need you to be my Rock to stand tall,

Take away these emotions dry them totally,

Forgive all the fault You find within me.

Lord don’t restore me to the one I love,

But please help them know Your there above,

Renew their trust in You like never before,

Give them hope for what’s in store.

I can’t reach out so Lord do it for me,

I sacrifice my joy place it on the altar for thee.

Take it my Lord as I let go,

What's really in my heart only You know.

Oh Whatever!

Holding a porcupine in my hand,
It pushes me further into the sinking sand
I'm gasping for breath, but no struggle
I lied for the first time but  does it matter?
I'm going to lie from now on for a starter
No I won't let go just to satisfy your guilt
Not man enough to filter others opinion filth
Cant stand on your own too feet and take a stand
I'm angry but I stand strong just for you
Try your best I am here to stay as my promise true
Your pretense is an Oscar winner for sure
Don't underestimate me I can endure

I am drenched in vanilla twilight (courtesy: Vanilla twilight- Owl City)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JE0HovpAzw

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

Till I look at my hands and feel sad

Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist deep in thought because when

I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear:

"Oh darling I wish you were here"

Running thoughts

Well forgive me today I am going to be downright honest about what I feel. Certain things in my life especially those that happened around my teens and pre-teens has bugged me to the core... I have dealt with this anger and overcame it, but a certain incident has reopened my wounds and has caused me stress with interest..

Why cant people just be real? Why cant they be honest? Why cant they be satisfied with the little things in life? why is the measure of happiness based on their bank balances and wallets? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy????????

Has family lost its value? Is love just meant for fairytales in their dictionaries? Where is the childhood where a kid a can be a kid and not have to prove they are super genius? When a kid achieves something for their folks where's that appreciation hug or kiss? Where's the fathers who really cared to provide beyond money? Where are the mothers who protected their kids beyond their lives? Where are the siblings who love laughed played and supported each other? WHEREEEEE??????????

Am I a fool? Have I dreamed a dream? Is it too simple? Is it stupid? I just wanna shut myself in a vacuum and scream, cry, yell .. I want a punching bag that i can punch till it has no filling left in it... I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum.. But allow me to cos i couldn't be much of a kid when I should've been...  If no one likes it.. too bad its your problem not mine...

Look down upon me for my grandparents and parents mistakes all you like but remember you may be missing out on a chance to know me... I am not my father, I am not my mother, I am not my sister, I am not my brother, I am not my aunt, I am not my uncle, I am not my cousin sister, I am not like any of my grandparents.. I AM ME.. an individual.. genes carry traits but personality is developed by my choices... Who am I?
I am me.. Love me, Hate me or ignore me, but remember I am capable of loving, living and proving your judgments wrong.. I may not be great, but I always work towards improving myself and getting an edge not to trample someone else, but to better my life and to make the lives of the people I love easier..
Yes I love to death, I like to adore, I hate evil, i dislike presumptions... I am not ordinary or one amongst the crowd, I was created unique, I didn't evolve from a monkey, I was formed in my mother's womb for a special purpose.. There have been times I wanted to end my life and I am not scared to say it, but i have grown over that and realised how special life can be... I have learnt that to wait for true love is rewarding... I have learnt that there's beauty in the ashes. I have learnt that life always takes a new turn when u least expect.. What's going to happen?? I do not know.. I don't want to know because astrology is a curse I am satisfied in knowing that a surprise is waiting for me and in the end when the plan unfolds it will make sense.. Thank you God for making my life so beautiful. I don't feel angry anymore because I am reminded about the beauty in my life... So thank you God.. and sorry for the mindless ramble.. Just thoughts as they were running in my head. I have got my peace, so I am going back to living life.

Fading

The voices are getting louder
Heart is beating faster
The pain is cutting deeper
Breath is getting heavier

Insides are turning
The wide world is tumbling
Voice and strength are failing
Now its getting darker, fading

Misery of distance

Was your voice a whisper in the dark?
Was your smile a figment of my imagination?
Was your shadow a phantom flying about?
Were you a ghost of my own making?

The answer is no, your just far away.
How long till I have you with me?
How do I bear this separation?
Will we survive this distance?

My words don't even rhyme,
As I write these lines,
The rhythm is gone out of me.
Await I the day we meet.