One Stormy Moment 2 Years Ago

Its been quiet a few nights where its been really hard for me to sleep.... thoughts within me are just pounding at my door.. They scream for me to take the time and actually think about them.. Sometime ago I had a fight... I fought with someone I dedicated my life to.. someone who is more than just someone... He created me and I have His breath, the breath of life within me.... I was angry with Him .. angry for not letting things go my way... There are just some moments when you feel like you have lost everything and life is never going to be the same... well the truth I found is life will never be the same and I did loose something but not everything... I thought strength was found within yourself.. But the truth is God provides you with a little less within yourself so you dont stop depending on Him... He provides strength in many different ways.. He did give me that much I needed.. when i almost went to the pits He lifted me.. Thank you so much...

2 years back I lost something really precious... Something I will never have again... A friendship that was unique and a sister I am proud I had.. I miss her so much.. 2 years have gone sooo fast it seems like only yesterday that she was here .. laughin like a hyena giving me the most genuine and warm hugs I ever got from anyone... I don't regret losing her because I'm thankful that I had her in my life... we meet so many people everyday we hardly get to know them truly.. I'm glad that when our paths met we actually joined hands and walked the journey of life together for some time... I feel priviledged to be one who knew her deeply.. Someone whom she considered her - Chadi Buddy (lol)... Seems like only yesterday I called her and asked her to meet up with me... I don't regret anything more than I regret not having to tell her that I love her very much.. and that I'm sorry to have not let her known that she was precious to me.. I live with the hope that she already knew.. I stopped blaming myself for it.. cause if I did know what was going to happen I would've done all I could to let her know... I would've told her what she meant to me.. I would have one all those things we loved doing together.. laugh like no one was around.. talk our hearts out like there was no tomorrow.. Some people are priviledged enough to get that one last time with the one they love before that loved one passes away from this life.. I didn't get that chance... I have learnt one lesson in life through this.. is always make the people special to you truly know and feel they mean a lot to you.. smother them with love.. whats in it for you to loose? you'd only gain and prevent yourself from making the mistake I did... Love with no bounds.. smile with no end... cause you never know when bad days hit hard...

I have no complains.. But to be honest it still hurts... Everyday I still think about her.. Sometimes I forget about what happened 2 years ago.. close my eyes and think of those days waiting for her to come from her lectures... hanging out from the train like we used to or just searching for her in the carrom room.... so many memories.. She maybe asleep in the depths below but in memories she is alive... I can only thank God for letting me have her in my life.. though short a while.. I will cherish it forever... I also learnt to cherish every moment every day .. you never know when your time is up... you may never do all the things you planned to do.. so live for today... tomorrow may never come.... I get up everyday thanking God that I'm still here.. I lack a friend only to understand how loneliness feels .. all so that I can reach out to someone who is lonely.. someone who lost something too...

Like I said I was angry with God for quiet sometime... but then I realised there is a bigger picture to life... Life doesn't just move on like a drag it changes.... you learn new things from different experiences... good and bad... Thank God for both... cause the good ones give you something to smile about and the bad just makes you stronger... I was running away from God.. running far... only to realise that I needed Him real bad... now I hang on to Him tighter...